Another perspective on Prop 8 Part 2

In the spirit of recognizing that each person has their own beliefs, whether they belong to a Church/organization or not is proven with this blog entry. Not all opponents of prop 8 hate mormons, and not all mormons agree with prop 8.

Yay Diversity!

Another perspective on Prop 8

Here are some articles that I have found interesting and enlightening... I have been surprised by the number of people that have found the reactions and backlash on the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and its members justified and acceptable. I am fully in support of political activism and demonstrating for what you believe in... I guess I just believe in what I choose to believe in and do not find it necessary to condemn those that do not agree with me. Some extreme prop 8 opponents would not agree with me. I would also like to note that as with any extreme behavior... they are the exception, not the condition, of the rule.


Mormons in the crosshairs

Abovethehate.com

So Much for Tolerance

My fundamental concern moving forward is finding a way to heal, to rebuild bridges that have been burned, to have candid conversations, and to love. I know this sounds almost asinine with everything that's happened, but I have talked about prop 8 at length with many of my friends and the conclusion we have reached is that the key is to love people for who they are... not for what they believe in, not for what they have done or can do for you, not for their talents... just for being human and being in our lives. My best friend and I disagree on almost every thing that you can hold an opinion on.... from huge issues such as pro-life pro-choice, to which books we like, what movies we think are stupid, everything... and yet we have a wonderful and rich friendship. We didn't even notice that our friendship was anything extraordinary until her mom pointed out this past weekend that we disagree on everything... and then we realized that we just love each other. And that is enough.

Last thing... check out No On Prop 8's Fact Vs Fiction

Fiction: If Prop 8 isn’t passed, people can be sued over personal beliefs.

Fact: California’s laws already prohibit discrimination against anyone based on race, religion, gender, or sexual orientation. This has nothing to do with marriage.
--> If this has nothing to do with marriage, then why aren't people more upset about the bold and public religious discrimination? Which no on prop 8 supporters already know, according to this website, is against the law?
IRONIC

Verbal Vomit

These past few months have brought wave after wave of trials and lessons and blessings and miracles... and I feel an intense need to start blogging again. For some reason there is a difference in writing in my journal daily and trying to refine my thoughts a little more and sending them out into a virtual void. (check out the "v" alliterations today: verbal vomit, virtual void... that's very vonderful? hahha)

I have been participating in the online discussion of Prop 8 ever since it passed, and this is one article that I found that had quite an educated, civil discussion. There is nothing that bothers me more than misinformation and half-truths and I have found blatant lies being used by both sides of the campaign. Read the article and the follow up comments if you're interested.

http://www.newstatesman.com/north-america/2008/10/gay-rights-church-bennion#reader-comments

THis is what I posted... this was one of my neutral comments.

I_politik, I agree wholeheartedly. This is an incredible disaster. I have read every single comment posted to this article, and it has been incredibly enlightening. I have worn myself to the bone having difficult conversations about this with my friends, gay & straight, religious & not religious, yes on 8 & no on 8 & apathetic... and the conclusion I have come to is that as a society, we do not have the tools to engage in dialogues appropriately.

We are raised to appreciate and celebrity individuality and diversity-- in theory. Yet when our sphere of reality, opinions and familiarities bumps with someone else's who is vastly different, there is internal conflict. The universal motto of love to "do unto other as we would have them do unto us" is impossibly difficult.

The reason I say this is because I am convinced that if we could see and talk to each person posting to this article, we would be able to see that in the end, they do not want anyone harmed. The attackers and accusers of the mormons don't want mormons actually attacked and harmed. And those accusing the no-on-8'ers saying they're just as bad if not worse don't want them harmed either.

My friends and I have been succesful in talking about this when we speak honestly and humbly... when we say, "it hurts my feelings that you would not support the rights of gays to get married" or "i feel it hurts my feelings that you think i hate you for wanting to define marriage as between a man and a woman".

On top of all the challenges this issue is forcing us to face, we also have an opportunity to discover how competent we are at really appreciating diversity-- even when it hurts us in our core. How devoutly do we want to strive to love others? Only those that agree with us, or even the very people that hurt us?

I just noticed the caption underneath the picture reads, "Religious conservatives are trying to dictate people's personal choices". If the picture showed opponents of No on 8, would the caption read, "Liberals are trying to dictate people's personal choices"?

I think not...

Prepare....

I just wanted to post something on here that I feel really strongly about, especially with the increasing economic problems that our country is facing and the horrible things going on around the world from Myanmar to China. It's not going to be very long, but it is important for all people (regardless of what faith you pertain to) to be aware and listen to the guidance that the leaders of the church have given us.

I'm talking about emergency preparedness.

Recently I helped Sean and Mike prepare a presentation about the avian flu at a church emergency preparedness fair. While there, i walked around the whole church building and didn't realize until there how unprepared I was for a disaster. In fact any disaster. I have enough food storage for about a week and water but after that I'm doomed! We are advised to have at least a three month suply. This frightens me. Alot of young single people are in debt, we don't have enough food storage, we're not prepared if an earthquake hit. Do you know where your extra contact lens' are, is your passport easily accessible, do you have an extra credit card handy, do you have an extra cell phone charger in a back pack with your toothbrush, batteries and flashlight? I didn't think so. I certainly don't..... YET!

So to kick start your emergency preparedness, here is a guide for all of you. Click on all four links as they will all be of help to you. And it doesn't matter if you're single or have 5 kids or just an older couple. This will benefit you. I promise!

Family Home Storage/ Emergency Preparedness

meow

What is there to lose?

A conversation I had with a friend of mine inspired this post, and I want to give him the credit (thank, Justin!)

Essentially, the question regarding my faith, or any organized religion, is "why?" Why believe? Why do the things you do? Why follow what looks like someone else's rules? Why "limit" yourself? And when you strip away all my personal convictions, feelings, and experiences, there is something basic: "why not?"

Everything that I choose to do, inspired by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, is good. Everything that I have changed or let go as a result of following the commandments, have caused me to improve myself.

So I don't drink alcohol, smoke, drink coffee/tea, or do drugs... that's not a bad thing.
So I don't have sex before marriage... that's not a bad thing.
So I don't watch R-rated movies... that's not a bad thing.
So I don't swear... that's not a bad thing.
So I commit my life to service... that's not a bad thing.
So I spend 3 hours every Sunday at church... that's not a bad thing.

At the end of the day, the things I do are not bad things. They do not harm myself, and they do not harm others. (I would like to suggest that they help others... but I'll leave that to someone else) I hope it is safe to say that these things are positive. They have improved my health, they have helped prevent a lot of heartache, they have saved me money, they have motivated me to help, and 3 hours a week is not much of a sacrifice.

I have only experienced positive things in my life as a result of my conversion and the choices I have made. I have been happier, experience greater self-esteem, enjoyed greater success at school/work, greater harmony at home, and have made more friends. I am grateful for the life I have been given, and the choices I am able to make.

Tithing

“Will a man rob God? Yet ye have robbed me. But ye say, Wherein have we robbed thee? In tithes and offerings.
Ye are cursed with a curse: for ye have robbed me, even this whole nation.
Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in mine house, and prove me now herewith, saith the Lord of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it." (Malachi 3:8–10.)

Tithing is such an important commandment that when the Lord appeared on the American continent after His Resurrection, He repeated those same exact words. And the Lord said in our day, “Those who have thus been tithed shall pay one-tenth of all their interest annually.” (D&C 119:4)

The Lord said, “Prove me now [or test me now] … , if I will not open you the windows of heaven.” (3 Nephi 24:10)

"Consider, for example, ten apples. Now, all ten of these apples actually belong to the Lord, but He asks us to return to Him only one-tenth, or one apple.
Are you offering only a small bite of that apple and keeping 90 percent? Are you willing to offer the Lord such a small portion?
Are you ashamed, or do you try to patch up and hide the bitten portion of the apple and then offer that to the Lord?"
-Elder Yoshihiko Kikuchi

I want to share my testimony, not an explanation, of the law of tithing. Tithing is not payment to the Church. It is neither required nor requested as a member. Tithing is a divine law, an expectation from God since the beginning of time. God gives us everything we have- we do not inherently deserve anything we have. We have them because God blessed us with it. However, I want to make it clear that blessings do not indicate the degree of God's love or awareness of you. All the trials and blessings we receive in this life are all for our benefit, and for our good, so that we can learn the lessons we need to learn so we can be the people that God would have us be. Some people need to learn to take down their pride, and are therefore given less. Some need to learn generosity and are given more. It's not that cut and dry, but there is always a reason, or a lesson.

What I really want to talk about is the blessings that one receives when one is obedient.
The blessing of the law of tithing is promised with the words "opening the windows of heaven". I have experienced that in my life very recently. Ever since I was young I have wanted to be financially independent, and have enough money to help my family out when bad things happened. And now, I am graduating in 2 weeks and I found an amazing job that pays double what I thought I was going to make my first year out of college AND I have an incredibly amazing apartment (just signed the lease yesterday) that is a very low price, in the best part of Pasadena. All my prayers for temporal blessings have been answered in this. I am independent. And it's amazing.

I know the law of tithing is divine. If we are generous with our money, and if we recognize that everything we receive is from God, we will be blessed.

RE: Polygamy in the News

"I wish to state categorically that this Church has nothing whatever to do with those practicing polygamy. They are not members of this Church. Most of them have never been members. They are in violation of the civil law. They know they are in violation of the law. They are subject to its penalties. The Church, of course, has no jurisdiction whatever in this matter.

If any of our members are found to be practicing plural marriage, they are excommunicated, the most serious penalty the Church can impose. Not only are those so involved in direct violation of the civil law, they are in violation of the law of this Church. An article of our faith is binding upon us. It states, 'We believe in being subject to kings, presidents, rulers, and magistrates, in obeying, honoring, and sustaining the law' (Articles of Faith 1:12)."
-President Gordon B Hinckley

It takes courage to love...

... and I don't mean romantic love.
It takes courage to love each other as brothers and sisters, as fellow human beings. It takes courage to see bad things and experience bad things and not plant seeds of resentment and hate within our hearts. It is even harder to stop those seeds from growing and festering once they are already planted.

I have wrestled with >hatred< my entire life. I hated myself, I hated my father, I hated my mother, I hated America, I hated Japan, I hated men, I hated war, I hated history, I hated racism, I hated people... I hated rules, I hated authority. I don't think "I don't like..." was in my vocabulary. I either loved or hated things. I thought this was normal, and even good. I knew where I stood, everyone did. I would make it clear whether I liked you or not, I would be frank (often brutally so) and considered my black-and-whiteness to be a great strength.

I have since been transformed. What does this have to do with being Mormon, you ask? It has everything to do with it. It has been such a gradual change since I converted that I can not tell you when or how it happened, I can only attest by my existence that it has taken place. My father and I are just about as close as [insert witty, uber-educated analogy of two things that hate each other].

Our fights would be so bad that I would be throwing things at him, cursing him out, and my mother would fear for his safety (seriously-- i can't believe it either.) But so it was.

I can't understand why, but something has developed inside me. An intuitive caring, perhaps... a desire for his wellbeing, and more recently, a simple foundation of love. It's kind of a miracle.

I credit these changes to everything I have learned in the Gospel. As I have learned about a God who loves me, a brother who died for me, my definition of love has been transformed. It is no longer the 2-way street I thought it was supposed to be. I consider all the years I denied both God and the Savior, and I am humbled by the fact that they never turned away. They never hurt me or wished me harm, they might have mourned my self destructive ways, but they only extended hands of forgiveness to me.

It is through their example, and how their love has changed me, that my love for others has been changed. My father continues to treat me less than ideally, and yet I have found great strength, comfort, and even happiness, in loving him despite it all... in fact, the more I exercise my ability to love him without expectation, the deeper my love for him grows. It is strange. All I can say is, it sounds crazy... but try it, it works.

Try loving someone, the person you hate the most... perhaps you are hating me right now for challenging you because you know exactly who I am talking about. Yes. That person. That person who hurt you the most, the person who bugs you the most, the person who took up countless pages in your diary, the person who disappointed you the most.

Try forgiving them, try loving them... and see how in the end, it isn't about them at all. It is about how love changes you. It changed me.

To Heal the Shattering Consequences of Abuse

To Heal the Shattering Consequences of Abuse by Elder Richard G. Scott, one of the Twelve Apostles was my #1 favorite talk of General Conference. I loved so many of them. But I felt like this talk was written for me "Dear Marina, blah blah blah, Love, God."

The amazing thing about General Conference is that every time I listen, or have the opportunity to attend in person, it is so obvious that these are men of God speaking. They are so in tune to current events, and the needs, the desires, and the behavior of the world. They know what we are struggling with, what we will struggle with, and they tell us what we need so that we are prepared and strengthened to live better and conquer the trials that will come.

The talk "To Heal the Shattering Consequences of Abuse" is one such talk. I have been abused, and sexually harassed, and all my life I have made peace with the idea that I will always have to deal with the consequences and baggage, but that as time passes, perhaps the sharpness of the memories will fade. The message of this talk is bold and absolutely amazing because Elder Scott tells us that this is not so. That, in fact, complete healing is available to each and every one of us. That all pain, injury, hatred, shame, nightmares, all will be taken away from us... that we can move forward whole again.

I burst into tears the second he said the words, "It is with a deep desire to define a path to relief that I speak to you who suffer the shattering consequences of mental, verbal, physical, and especially sexual abuse."

Elder Scott addresses the doctrine of Agency which I have blogged about previously. He reminds us of how agency was a blessing to all of us, that we have the opportunity to choose right from wrong, that we could choose Heavenly Father's Plan or the plan of Satan... that we can choose whatever we want. With this blessing, of course, comes the natural consequence that many will not choose right from wrong, and good from bad. Within this context, we understand how perpetrators are able to commit the crimes they do even though we have a Father in Heaven who loves us. This has satisfied my question as to why certain things could have happened to me if God exists. I understand that God always has the best in mind for us, and only desires our happiness, but that our fellow humans will not always act according to that plan, and we may suffer the consequences. However, because God does in fact love us, is why He provided a way to heal and help us... we are not left alone because of others' mistakes. There is a way.

Addressing victims/survivors:

"If you have been abused, Satan will strive to convince you that there is no solution. Yet he knows perfectly well that there is. Satan recognizes that healing comes through the unwavering love of Heavenly Father for each of His children. He also understands that the power of healing is inherent in the Atonement of Jesus Christ. Therefore, his strategy is to do all possible to separate you from your Father and His Son. Do not let Satan convince you that you are beyond help.
Satan uses your abuse to undermine your self-confidence, destroy trust in authority, create fear, and generate feelings of despair. Abuse can damage your ability to form healthy human relationships. You must have faith that all of these negative consequences can be resolved; otherwise they will keep you from full recovery. While these outcomes have powerful influence in your life, they do not define the real you."

At this point I am BAWLING! "Abuse can damage your ability to form healthy human relationships." defines me. Abuse has, in my opinion until this talk, permanently damaged my self-esteem, I have had had little have desire to even try and trust men again.

This story rekindled hope in me:
"I testify that I know victims of serious abuse who have successfully made the difficult journey to full healing through the power of the Atonement. After her own concerns were resolved by her faith in the healing power of the Atonement, one young woman who had been severely abused by her father requested another interview with me. She returned with an older couple. I could sense that she loved the two very deeply. Her face radiated happiness. She began, “Elder Scott, this is my father. I love him. He’s concerned about some things that happened in my early childhood. They are no longer a problem for me. Could you help him?” What a powerful confirmation of the Savior’s capacity to heal! She no longer suffered from the consequences of abuse, because she had adequate understanding of His Atonement, sufficient faith, and was obedient to His law. As you conscientiously study the Atonement and exercise your faith that Jesus Christ has the power to heal, you can receive the same blessed relief. During your journey of recovery, accept His invitation to let Him share your burden until you have sufficient time and strength to be healed."

I am so grateful for this talk, and I am grateful for the Prophet and the Apostles who tell us exactly what we need to hear, when we need to hear it, who love us and who give us all the tools and knowledge we need to be happy in this life.
<3

General Conference!

General Conference took place in Salt Lake City, Utah on April 5th and 6th. General Conference is a very special event for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints that happens biannually. All the leadership of the Church: the Prophet, his 2 counsellors, the 12 Apostles, and the Quorums of the Seventies, the Relief Society Presidency, etc. all come together and address the world in talks that are broadcast all over the worlds, T.V., and radio. There are 6 sessions of General Conference over Saturday and Sunday. Each session is 2 hours long.

My Conversion Story in a nutshell

I first met a Mormon on my second day as a freshman at Occidental College. I had never heard the term before. As this guy was being teased about being a “Mormon”, I laughed along with everyone because I didn’t want to let on that I had no idea what a “Mormon” was. Right afterwards I Googled “M-O-R-M-O-N” and my life has never been the same.
I have experienced all different kinds of religions. My friends have been Jewish, Muslim, Catholic, Sikh, Hindi, Jain, Buddhist, Shinto, Tao, Baptist… and the list goes on. I was raised with a basic belief in God and a pattern of short prayers before bedtime under the watchful eyes of my mother, but that was the extent of my own personal religious experience as a child.
As I grew up, my parents’ deteriorating marriage had a great effect on me and my mother was firm in her notion that she would never allow a divorce to happen because “divorce isn’t allowed in the Bible.” By 16 I became anti-Christian, because of this Bible that kept my mother in a bad marriage. As a Goth I spent my time getting drunk, playing video games, going to concerts, and swearing about anything to everyone. I reveled in my ability to push others away, to isolate myself so that no one could hurt me, I got a high off of scaring people, and I survived by numbing my pain and emptiness with numerous shots of Tequila and copious amounts of cheap beer.
Inside, however, I tired of the drinking, the darkness, the black makeup clutching my eyes… the scared looks from passerby’s. I dearly wanted to escape from my depressing group of friends who spoke of nothing but death, pain, hate, and escapism. I wanted to be appreciated, and I wanted to be happy, but I didn’t know how.
So then I found myself at school, Googling the word “Mormon”. I ended up at lds.org, and mormon.org, the official websites of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I had developed my own form of spirituality over the years to atone for the inadequacies and hypocrisy I had experienced with mainstream Christianity, and suddenly, I found them written down on this Church’s websites. They spoke of “Eternal families” where you would never be parted from the ones you love, marriage was not “until death do you part” here. They spoke of Prophets and Apostles as in the days of the Old and New Testaments. They spoke of prayer, promising that God would hear me.
I read the Book of Mormon online without telling anyone. 5 months later I asked my friend to take me to church with him. I couldn’t believe that there was more than one man who prayed daily, read scriptures nightly, didn’t drink, didn’t swear, and wouldn’t touch me even if he could. I had always been taught that Christians were not supposed to have sex before marriage, but the Christians I knew, did… I thought that being Christian meant helping others and not judging, but none of the Christians I knew helped or cared at all. But the Mormons did these things. They abstained, they went to Church, they helped, and they cared.
In the summer, I found the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints near where I lived in Japan. Everyone was smiling, and shook my hand, and I was thrilled to see that there were plenty of Japanese Mormons too. In fact, there were Filipino’s, Chinese, Jamaican, Nigerian, and American Mormons here. The services operated the same way as they had at the Church in Glendale, and a girl about my age was giving one of the talks—about faith. Then a man who looked just like my father, a manager of a company, gave his testimony of Christ and of God and I felt something inside stir with hope, already thinking ahead to when I might be able to see my father do and say the same things. I found my Church. I wanted to be Mormon.
I took lessons with Japanese sister missionaries, and I started to change my life. I stopped drinking from the day I started reading the Book of Mormon—and not because the Church told me to. I stopped smoking, I tried to swear a little less every day… and I started to believe that I had the right to be respected by men—and not handled like an object. Eventually the missionaries asked if I wanted to get baptized, and I said yes… but I never got the chance. My mother was happy with my religious endeavors only because I finally accepted God again and relinquished my dark and dreary ways. However, she was furious when I got home and told her I was going to be baptized Mormon.
For the last month of that summer I was placed under house arrest. My phone was taken away, and I was not allowed out in case I met the missionaries against her will. However, suddenly the God I read about on mormon.org materialized. My father, with whom I share few words, inquired about my friends “Sister so and so”. Since he knew nothing about my investigation into Mormonism I had no idea how he knew about my sister missionaries. It turned out that he saw some letters addressed to me from the sister missionaries that my mother had intercepted and hidden. God had not forgotten me; in fact, he listened to my prayers… just like the Mormons promised.
I survived on the letters of encouragement and love from my sister missionaries and the night before I left for my sophomore year of college I told my mother that I would be getting baptized in America whether she liked it or not. She admitted she couldn’t physically stop me, but swore she could never love a Mormon—I would be no daughter of hers if I disobeyed. Nevertheless, I got baptized on October 15th, 2005. This was a year after I first met a “Mormon.” Now I am Mormon, and I am so happy.
I am happy because now I am living the standards and principles I always held inside—I am not hiding them. I choose not to drink alcohol, not to smoke, not to swear, not to watch R-rated movies, and not to have sex until marriage. By doing these things I am actively modeling a lifestyle I always admired in others. By not drinking alcohol, I am fighting against my father’s alcoholism. By not using profane language, I acknowledge the power of words and the pain they can cause. By not watching R-rated movies I admit to how weak and impressionable my mind is, and among other things, I fight the objectification of women in the media. By exercising abstinence, I place the highest value and importance on marriage.
Now that I am Mormon, I am no longer the only one that chooses to live this lifestyle—and for that I am so grateful.

"How could you convert knowing these things!?"

, screamed my mother last night on the phone. She was referring to the fact that Joseph Smith (the first Prophet of the Restoration of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints) practiced polygamy for a while. Apparently my mother has been operating under the false pretense for over 2 years that I converted in ignorance of the controversial parts of the Church's history. This realization has, as of last night, propelled my mother into a newfound state of panic and disgust, putting our relationship back by 3 years...

Since my mother is unwilling to hear explanations I would give her, I give them to my blog... in the hope that others will not think I converted in ignorance, or that I avoid the very hardest of issues.

http://www.fairlds.org/Mormonism_201/m20117b.html

"Opposite the images of sensual appetite that McKeever and Johnson portray in relation to Joseph, plural marriage was something that Joseph himself was reluctant to practice and only did so under the threat of destruction at the hand of an angel.35 Joseph stated that "the practice of this principle would be the hardest trial the Saints would ever have to test their faith."36 He was not alone in his feelings. Upon learning of plural marriage, Brigham Young said that "it was the first time in my life that I had desired the grave, and I could hardly get over it for a long time. And when I saw a funeral, I felt to envy the corpse its situation, and to regret that I was not in the coffin."37

B.H. Roberts provides a concise and basic understanding on what was involved and expected in the practice of plural marriage:

The Saints did not accept into their faith and practice the plural-wife system with the idea that it increased the comfort, or added to the ease of anyone. From the first it was known to involve sacrifice, to make a large demand upon the faith, patience, hope and charity of all who should attempt to carry out its requirements. Its introduction was not a call to ease or pleasure, but to religious duty; it was not an invitation to self-indulgence, but to self-conquest; its purpose was not earth-happiness, but earth-life discipline, undertaken in the interest of special advantages for succeeding generations of men."..."It was indeed a principle of religion to them, a holy sacrament, and not at all designed to become a general practice under merely human laws. It is unfortunate that the world outside of the Church was not impressed with this phase of the subject; for then it would have been apparent that the things the world argued against and fought against--a general plural marriage system free for all to adopt, considered to be destructive of the monogamous system and the menace to the home itself--was not the thing upheld and contended for by the Latter-day Saints, who believed that the privilege of plural marriage is to be limited to persons of high character, approved lives, and living under the most sacred obligations to chastity, and granted this privilege of the marriage system only under the most carefully guarded permission amounting to divine sanction.38

Again, plural marriage was a matter of principle, revelation, and obedience; not lustful "errant yearnings," "extra-marital romantic liaisons," or "affairs," as portrayed by McKeever and Johnson. With this basis in mind, the following marital issues that are addressed become more clearly understood."

Historical accounts from the period say that very many members of the Church left, because the commandment was too difficult and disgusting to them. They were just like we are now... accustomed to monogamy, and believing polygamy to be evil and base. Joseph Smith actually received the revelation for polygamy years before he announced it, he disliked it so much.

Other than that, let me make it very clear that polygamy was revoked, and when "mormon polygamists" are mentioned in the news or on the radio, they are using "mormon" incorrectly. There are offshoots of the Church who continue practicing polygamy but all are excommunicated and are not associated with the Church.

*Phew*

Should I....

go on my mission?

That is a question I have pondered often, and I am afraid no answer seems correct.

I say to myself, "Yes, of course! You would love being on your mission so much, the lives you could touch, the service you could give... one and a half years of doing those things you're passionate about, what could be greater?!"

And then I say to myself, "Well, it's certainly the most difficult decision there is... with my family not being members of the Church, how could I explain to my father who supported me through 4 years of school that I am NOT entering the job market, but going on a mission? He might die! He might actually get a heart attack and drop right there... How could I tell my little sister, who looks up to me and depends on me, that i am abandoning her for one and a half years and we can't even talk on the phone?"

I can't!!! I can't do either!!!

I can't say yes because of my family, and I can't say no, because I want to go on my mission so badly!

There is no easy way. Some people say that often the harder way is right... but in this case I am choosing between two extremely difficult ways. If I do go on my mission it is going to be brutal... being away from all my family and friends, not being able to talk on the phone with them, being sent who knows where, having companions i might not get along with, dealing with people who hate what i stand for on a daily basis... that is ridiculously hard. (Also remembering that if I do end up going on my mission, I would have had to risk my father dying from the news.)

But then I could also not go on my mission. I could enter the workforce, have my father proudly tell his colleagues how I just graduated, and I work at X company doing X amazing things. I could continue talking regularly with my mother and sister on the phone... I could see my friends... I could have my own place, make money... and I would probably forever have the "what if i went on my mission" in the back of my mind. Living with regrets isn't easy. I know many people who can let go pretty easily, but I am not one of them...

What do you think?

American Mormon Perceptions

This is the trailer for a hilarious documentary. Two Mormons travelled all over the U.S. and asked people what they thought Mormons were... :-D

Agency vs. Compulsion

So I have been doing a lot of corrective work in my blog thus far, and that is actually not the way I usually speak about my faith. I usually talk about the things that make me happy, which is what I want to do today.

One of the reasons I became Mormon was because of the feelings I felt inside when I was being taught the doctrine. Faith and religion are not on a logical/scientific level much of the time, and so feelings constitute budding convictions, at least it did for me-- and still does.

I don't know how other people experience things, but there are times when I will hear something and it will just make sense to me. Simple as that. It's like it aligns with my innermost inclinations and desires, even those we may not be aware of. Perhaps you have heard song lyrics that feel like they were written for you because they capture a certain emotion or experience perfectly. Or perhaps there is a riff on the guitar that seems to strum your story, no words necessary. Perhaps you have a friend who you can go to, and no matter how fragmented your communication is, they will be able to nail exactly how you feel and bridge the gap of misunderstanding that no one else can.

That is kind of how it went for me and Mormonism. They taught me things that I had always believed, but was never able to form words about. I always wondered where I came from, who God was, and why we were here... and I had my own theories, my "Marina-ism philosophy".

The child in me believed that after we die we go to heaven, so my logic and intuition followed, causing me to believe that we came from heaven in the first place. This is not Christian doctrine, this is not a "normal" belief, I think... but it is for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. We believe in the premortal existence, where we all lived together as Spirit sisters and brothers with our Heavenly Father (God) before we came to earth. Furthermore, we believe that there was a war in Heaven. God wanted us to be perfect on earth, our mortal test, so that we could then return to Him. Lucifer (the devil) wanted to make us perfect to ensure that everyone came back to heaven. 2/3 of everyone chose God's plan, choosing agency over compulsion. That's us. Our belief is that anyone that has ever lived on earth chose agency over compulsion. :-)

Anyways, I think I went way too deep into doctrine. Suffice it to say, everything is a choice. We have the choice to be happy, to be sad, to be offended, to do good, to do bad. It's amazing! I love it! When I consider agency as a power, then i consider my choices so much more carefully. My perspective on agency has brought me so much joy because now I realize I have a choice in the way I feel! In the past, if someone hurt my feelings then I would blame it on them and feel miserable until their apology suited me. Now, I do not wait until the other person has a change of heart, I change mine. Instead of choosing to be offended or hurt, I try very hard to choose to forgive, let go, and not let anybody but myself ruin my own day. It's liberating!

You know how there are those wristbands that saw WWJD (What Would Jesus Do?). Well you can tell if someone's Mormon because they have a CTR ring. Choose The Right :-)

Women in the Church

One thing that has baffled me is the outsider's perspective on Mormon women. I can see where most stereotypes and misconceptions about Mormons come from, but I cannot see any reason for the falsity of notions stating that women are considered of lesser importance... that women should be, "barefoot and pregnant" and that Mormon women are inherently submissive-- or are inevitably forced to be so in order to survive in the Church.

My experience as a woman in the Church has never resembled any of these ideas-- in fact, ever since I converted to the Church I have never felt more respected, appreciated, and admired as a woman. I have also never been around a group of men who have greater honor and reverence for womanhood and its challenges.

In fact, it is a running joke in Mormon culture that women are the better of the two, and the men are serious.

These are some quotes from our beloved Prophet Gordon B Hinckley who recently passed away:

"Notwithstanding this preeminence given the creation of woman, she has so frequently through the ages been relegated to a secondary position. She has been put down. She has been denigrated. She has been enslaved. She has been abused. And yet some few of the greatest characters of scripture have been women of integrity, accomplishment, and faith.=
We have Esther, Naomi, and Ruth of the Old Testament. We have Sariah of the Book of Mormon. We have Mary, the very mother of the Redeemer of the world. We have her as the chosen of God, described by Nephi as “a virgin, most beautiful and fair above all other virgins” (1 Ne. 11:15)."

"There are some men who, in a spirit of arrogance, think they are superior to women. They do not seem to realize that they would not exist but for the mother who gave them birth. When they assert their superiority they demean her. It has been said, “Man can not degrade woman without himself falling into degradation; he can not elevate her without at the same time elevating himself” (Alexander Walker, in Elbert Hubbard’s Scrap Book [1923], 204)."


Our new Prophet, Thomas S. Monson, said the following remarks at last October's session of General Conference (bi-annual meeting where all the leaders of the Church give talks)

"As I speak to you, I realize that as a man I am in the minority and must be cautious in my comments. I’m reminded of the man who walked into a bookstore and asked the clerk—a woman—for help: “Have you got a book titled Man, the Master of Women?” The clerk looked him straight in the eye and said sarcastically, “Try the fiction section!”
I assure you tonight that I honor you, the women of the Church, and am well aware, to quote William R. Wallace, that “the hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world.”

I include these quotes because aside from my word saying that women are nothing but valued and cherished in the Church, I admit that there are good and bad people in every religion (and good and bad people who are not religious whatsoever)... and with that truth comes the fact that I am certain some women have had less positive experiences. Overall, the women are loved, and their value is always highlighted :-)

I love it!

"Don't you have to go on your mission?"

One of the most trademark things about the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints are our missionaries. We all know them: white shirts, neckties, riding bikes with bike helmets. Many studenty choose to dress up as Mormon Missionaries for Halloween... which I personally don't understand. I don't find missionaries scary at all, in fact, since they happen to be 18 year old boys (generally) they are usually more scared of us. I also don't find the missionary getup particularly unusual, considering they are wearing suits.... but something about them obviously warrants Halloween copycats.

I am proud that the Church has become associated with our missionaries, and my logic is as follows. I know when I find a particularly good buy, or I fall in love with a new product, I just want to share it with everyone! (For example, I use BareEscentuals makeup, it's a pure mineral powder and it is much more sheer and natural than the liquid foundations most people use. I am a huge fan, and now many of my friends are using it too because I raved about it so much. http://www.bareescentuals.com/ :-)

I think our missionaries reflect the same idea. We have something amazing, something that makes us happy and we want to share it... we want to let other people know! Contrary to popular belief, Mormon missionaries don't force the Gospel on anyone. They knock on doors, and they don't force their way into any houses. If they are invited in, then fantastic! If a door gets slammed in their face, then they leave.

Let me just explain something about Mormon Missionaries. Young men are generally expected to go on their mission after they turn 18, and go on a 2 year mission. Young women can go after they are 21, and their missions last 1.5 years. However, young people choose to go on a mission. Nobody is forced. And you can go home whenever you want to.

I think it's awesome we have missionaries, I absolutely LOVE missionaries. For me it sends a powerful message about what we have in the Church, if young people choose to leave normal life for up to 2 years to share it with others... then there must be something to it!!! :-D

Is it true that Mormons are quick to defend other religions because of their own experience with religious persecution?

I have no idea whether this is a stereotype or not, or a commonly held notion, but I appreciated this question my friend asked me so much.

Religious tolerance is not a common principle. It is not considered a basic right. Religious intolerance has been a common thread in my experiences over the last few years and have been both a source of trials and sorrow as well as an opportunity to grow in the face of opposition and adversity.

As with all stereotypes and assumptions, my word by no means disproves them. What I am more concerned with is dispelling the notion that one can speak for all. When I learned about mediation and communication, one of the essential guidelines was that we were to always state our opinions in the "I" form to own our ideas.

I personally believe in the importance of religious tolerance, and the right for people to worship whatever sources they have experienced truth in. I believe this because when I chose to convert, people were not supportive of my faith, and preconceived notions fueled their worry that I was joining a brainwashing cult. Luckily my friends were quick to notice that other than the fact that I didn't drink alcohol/coffee/tea and stopped swearing I was still the same person. However there was a person who made my conversion public and confronted me on several different occasions which caused me a lot of pain and anxiety. He did not speak from a place of understanding and personal experience, he spoke from a place of perceived intellectual superiority and did not even try to hide his open prejudice.

I felt severely wronged at those times, during those conversations. I did not appreciate the attacks... and I call them attacks because they were not seeking discussions about doctrine or anything... they "knew" what they knew and were not seeking out the truth, only to have their notions confirmed, which I couldn't do... because most of the stereotypes were unfounded.

I was surprised and shocked by how involved people got in my personal conversion process. It was not deemed enough that I was happy about my choices and satisfied with my situation, they needed to unleash some inner resentment of the faith.

I remember how misunderstood I felt... nobody asked me for my own opinion on the matters, many failed to ask me why I joined the Church in the first place... most had decided that because I was dating a member of the Church I joined out of love for him. The truth is incredibly different.

I know that I have the tendency to assume things about people and institutions, which is why I confess I am eager to think the best of other faiths as well. I know that Mormons have serious misunderstandings and stereotypes floating around which has brought a lot of negative publicity and developed a strong stigma on this aspect of my identity.

I hope that people will seek out the truth from reliable sources... and I don't mean just me... I mean wikipedia it, contact an official Church leader or representative, wikipedia it, cross reference that information with the official website lds.org or mormon.org, and then combine it with your own personal experiences with members... and then form your own opinion. Please do not rely on one source.... one scandalous news story, one bitter person... and not on my blog, and my ramblings.

This does not only apply to religion of course, this is an important habit that I try very hard to develop when I stay informed on current events. Fox News, NBC, BBC, Al Jazeera, Daily Yomiuri... all of these news sources say something different. It is up to us to figure out what we find to be true... and even then, to stay open minded. Just in case the truth may turn out to be very different to what you thought it was.

I hope that I will be as willing to give other religions the benefit of the doubt in exchange for being given the benefit of the doubt about my faith... until more knowledge and more truth is unearthed.

"So... how come you're not from Utah?"

I am not from Utah because I am from Japan and Germany! I am not a U.S. Citizen, I am here on a visa!

Being Mormon automatically makes people think about Utah. What's interesting is that all my friends from Utah actually aren't Mormon at all. Since people believe that Mormonism is a cult or sect it follows that they still believe Mormonism is primarily an American faith. Here are a few interesting facts:
-The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has approximately 3 million members in over 150 different countries.
-The majority of member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints are NOT U.S. citizens. (Yes, it's true!)
.... and I am one of them!

I have seen the Church referred to as an American faith just because it was founded in the United States but nothing about the faith is exclusive to Americans. The doctrine preaches the same things that was preached even in the Old Testament, namely, that we are all divine children of God, and that we are all brothers and sisters and should treat each other as such (and of course to believe in the Saviour, but as the purpose of this blog is not to proselytize I am keeping doctrinal references to a minimum.)

I think people would feel differently about the Church if they saw the huge impact it has made in other countries. I attend a Japanese ward (our name for congregation, or church) during summers and winters and the people there are absolutely phenomenal. Imagine what it took for a completely non-theistic Japanese person to adopt beliefs and principles as those of our Church? To stand up for these beliefs in a country where few are Christian, and few are active religious practitioners? They do service projects, they help each other out... they still attend their office parties but do not drink alcohol... :-) All those little details! It is major! If you need to know anything about Japan to impress you about Japanese Mormons, it is that you absolutely HAVE TO DRINK to network in businesses. That's all people do. When my father joined a new company he was out every single night after work having drinks with his employees... that's just the way it works. Now imagine a middle-aged man trying to get to know his employees without the nectar of comfort. It's so much more difficult!

Anyways. I have seen the Church in Japan and Germany, and in both places people sacrificed significant social capital to become members... and they are some of the strongest members I have ever seen!

I think I completely digressed from the topic at hand... suffice it to say that Mormons are not all from Utah, and not all from America. *Sigh* that feels good. One more stereotype dismantled.

"All I know is that Mormons have like 10 kids..."

Hahhha. I love this one.

This one always makes me smile. Members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints continue to be mistaken with the Amish, and I am thankful that no-one was surprised that I use technology and don't wear a bonnet.

I am sure that Mormon families with 10 children exist (actually, a mentor of mine is actually a mother of 10-- go figure!) However, having many children is not a trend of members of the church, neither is it a requirement.

I think that the reason that this stereotype may have emerged is because Church doctrine on the family has been so well publicized. One of our basic beliefs is that families can be together forever. Not until "death do us part" but here in this life and after we pass away-- for eternity. Perhaps because we believe in eternal families, it goes without saying that we want huge families as well? I have no idea.

It is also possible that Mormons love having many children because they have successful marriages, and a lot of support from each other. Or perhaps Mormon families have enjoyed a lot of success in their careers and therefore are able to support larger families.

Let us get back to the point, though. If all you know is that, "Mormons have like 10 kids", then we need to do some more reading don't we? Let's sit down and have some frozen yogurt and talk about life... and then maybe we'll move back to what I might copyright as the Mormon Bomb. Then I will tell you that I personally would love to have more than 1 child but have no ambition for 10. Then perhaps I could dispel just one more stereotype.

"So... you're Mormon, what do you think about Mitt Romney?"

I have been asked this three times now. It doesn't annoy me, it only reminds me how Mormonism is still considered so different to other Christian denominations. I don't see other Evangelical Christians being asked what they think about Bush (is he Evangelical?) Although I might have not heard the prior question being asked, I have heard similar questions being asked in the context of minority identities.

The school I attend has a minority of Asian, African-American, and Latino students and as such, I have heard some pretty horrific questions. In a discussion about race (which happens frequently), students were discussing the way minorities were being referred to. Descriptors such as, "asian pacific islander" "black" "white" "south american" and the "n" word came up. The descriptors for African Americans provoked the strongest reaction, with some students preferring to use "african american" and others "black." However, later in the day I heard about a student who went to an african american friend and asked, "so what do you guys prefer to be called." Needless to say I was ashamed to have witnessed such a question. What is worse is that these happen often. I will not try and recapture how the student reacted to that question, suffice it to say that they did not appreciate being tokenized for their racial identity.

Although I can relate, I have not had to deal with questions that ignorant too often. I often do have people asking me to either verify or disprove stereotypes about asians or germans or foreigners or mormons, in general. They are amusing, and also alarming. It is alarming because I see how incomplete our understanding of other cultures is. Cultural sensitivity seems to be studied in classrooms, but rarely exercised.

Back to my experience...
I don't know what I think about Mitt Romney. Perhaps you should ask me whether I have been following U.S. politics first? Perhaps you should find out who I am rooting for? (Obama 2008!) Perhaps we can first hold a conversation about policies and platforms and then gradually you can introduce the topics of different candidates... and then drop the Mormon Bomb.

Perhaps because being Mormon is so unusual it must infiltrate my every preference. Perhaps stereotypes my friends have grown up with dictate that Mormons always vote along religious lines. Perhaps Mormons are known to be prejudiced. (Ok, I know, that's a little harsh...) Either way, it seems that belonging to any kind of minority identity leads people to believe it affects you as much as it affects their perception. Perhaps because people see me as an Asian/Mormon female, my personal choices and preferences must be equally affected. Perhaps it is unprecedented that an Asian Mormon Female would not be interested in U.S. politics... "but you're Mormon! And Mitt Romney's Mormon!"... Hence we must be best friends :-) I must know everything about him and every other Mormon.

I love the idea behind it, honestly. I love the idea that any group I identify with (be it religion, racial, or hobby) automatically makes me an expert for all of them. That would make learning about people so much more easy! I wish I could tell you how every single Mormon feels about Mitt Romney. It would be amazing if my opinion of him would automatically answer the question you were really meaning to ask. "What do you (and every other Mormon alive) think about Mitt Romney?"
:-)

By the way, I love my friends... and I love these discussions. And if you have asked or probably want to ask any question like the ones I ranted about, please feel free to. Without conversations, I cannot correct stereotypes. You are actually doing me a favor...

Peace.

Passing of our Beloved Prophet

Gordon B. Hinckley possessed all the qualities of a regular decent, honorable man. He was not outstandingly eloquent, he wasn't particularly handsome, he wasn't wealthy, he wasn't well connected. He spoke simply and was incredibly humble. Yet, he was the Prophet, Seer and Revelator of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints for 11 years, and before that he was a General Authority, and then an Apostle for a long time. His service to the Church has lasted his entire life, since the time he served a two year mission in England during the Great Depression.

I thoroughly enjoy this quote, "A prison guard has authority, but he or she is not a leader. A leader doesn't need a gun to motivate individuals" by Coach John Wooden. As I reflect on dear President Hinckley's life I can only remain in awe of how remarkable his leadership was. He lead by example, his example being loving and speaking truth, emulating our ultimate example, the Savior. He did not coerce, dominate, suppress, or compromise values. He was consistent and gentle.

True leaders motivate because of simply who they are. And everyone who has been blessed enough to cross paths with Prophet Gordon B Hinckley can only praise his loving way and his personal and charismatic nature. He genuinely cares, how many leaders do we know today that genuinely care about our well being? Who else gets on their knees to pray on behalf of all of us, for our wellbeing... and not just members of the Church, He was a Prophet to the world, and he never forgot that. He was dedicated every single day to listening, healing, and helping.

Since I only converted 2 years ago, He was the only Prophet I have known. I feel a sense of loss I wouldn't have expected, considering I didn't know him personally. But I feel like it happens sometimes, in life, you get a feeling about a person through the media, and you hear stories... and you just know a person is good. I remember how distraught my mother was when Princess Diana died, the whole world mourned her... oh, and Mother Theresa. My feelings of loss are comparable to those sad occaisions.

Good people are few and far between, and Prophet Gordon B Hinckley was an excellent leader who will be sorely missed.

Elder Russel M. Ballard, an Apostle in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, said the following:

“We cannot stand on the sidelines while others, including our critics, attempt to define what the Church teaches,” he said.

“While some conversations have audiences in the thousands or even millions, most are much, much smaller. But all conversations have an impact on those who participate in them. Perceptions of the Church are established one conversation at a time.”

Church leaders have publicly expressed concern that while much of the recent extensive news reporting on the Church has been balanced and accurate, some has been trivial, distorted or without context.

Elder Ballard said there were too many conversations going on about the Church for Church representatives to respond to each individually, and that Church leaders “can’t answer every question, satisfy every inquiry and respond to every inaccuracy that exists.”

He said students should consider sharing their views on blogs, responding to online news reports and using the “new media” in other ways.

But he cautioned against arguing with others about their beliefs. “There is no need to become defensive or belligerent,” he said.


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This is the idea. I love writing about anything and everything... and being a member of the Church is one of the biggest parts of my life, and honestly, a topic I love to speak about most. That's why this blog is being started... to publicize my thoughts on the faith, and what it means to be young and single in the Church! Other fabulous authors will hopefully be contributing to this site, and we'll see how it goes!