To Heal the Shattering Consequences of Abuse

To Heal the Shattering Consequences of Abuse by Elder Richard G. Scott, one of the Twelve Apostles was my #1 favorite talk of General Conference. I loved so many of them. But I felt like this talk was written for me "Dear Marina, blah blah blah, Love, God."

The amazing thing about General Conference is that every time I listen, or have the opportunity to attend in person, it is so obvious that these are men of God speaking. They are so in tune to current events, and the needs, the desires, and the behavior of the world. They know what we are struggling with, what we will struggle with, and they tell us what we need so that we are prepared and strengthened to live better and conquer the trials that will come.

The talk "To Heal the Shattering Consequences of Abuse" is one such talk. I have been abused, and sexually harassed, and all my life I have made peace with the idea that I will always have to deal with the consequences and baggage, but that as time passes, perhaps the sharpness of the memories will fade. The message of this talk is bold and absolutely amazing because Elder Scott tells us that this is not so. That, in fact, complete healing is available to each and every one of us. That all pain, injury, hatred, shame, nightmares, all will be taken away from us... that we can move forward whole again.

I burst into tears the second he said the words, "It is with a deep desire to define a path to relief that I speak to you who suffer the shattering consequences of mental, verbal, physical, and especially sexual abuse."

Elder Scott addresses the doctrine of Agency which I have blogged about previously. He reminds us of how agency was a blessing to all of us, that we have the opportunity to choose right from wrong, that we could choose Heavenly Father's Plan or the plan of Satan... that we can choose whatever we want. With this blessing, of course, comes the natural consequence that many will not choose right from wrong, and good from bad. Within this context, we understand how perpetrators are able to commit the crimes they do even though we have a Father in Heaven who loves us. This has satisfied my question as to why certain things could have happened to me if God exists. I understand that God always has the best in mind for us, and only desires our happiness, but that our fellow humans will not always act according to that plan, and we may suffer the consequences. However, because God does in fact love us, is why He provided a way to heal and help us... we are not left alone because of others' mistakes. There is a way.

Addressing victims/survivors:

"If you have been abused, Satan will strive to convince you that there is no solution. Yet he knows perfectly well that there is. Satan recognizes that healing comes through the unwavering love of Heavenly Father for each of His children. He also understands that the power of healing is inherent in the Atonement of Jesus Christ. Therefore, his strategy is to do all possible to separate you from your Father and His Son. Do not let Satan convince you that you are beyond help.
Satan uses your abuse to undermine your self-confidence, destroy trust in authority, create fear, and generate feelings of despair. Abuse can damage your ability to form healthy human relationships. You must have faith that all of these negative consequences can be resolved; otherwise they will keep you from full recovery. While these outcomes have powerful influence in your life, they do not define the real you."

At this point I am BAWLING! "Abuse can damage your ability to form healthy human relationships." defines me. Abuse has, in my opinion until this talk, permanently damaged my self-esteem, I have had had little have desire to even try and trust men again.

This story rekindled hope in me:
"I testify that I know victims of serious abuse who have successfully made the difficult journey to full healing through the power of the Atonement. After her own concerns were resolved by her faith in the healing power of the Atonement, one young woman who had been severely abused by her father requested another interview with me. She returned with an older couple. I could sense that she loved the two very deeply. Her face radiated happiness. She began, “Elder Scott, this is my father. I love him. He’s concerned about some things that happened in my early childhood. They are no longer a problem for me. Could you help him?” What a powerful confirmation of the Savior’s capacity to heal! She no longer suffered from the consequences of abuse, because she had adequate understanding of His Atonement, sufficient faith, and was obedient to His law. As you conscientiously study the Atonement and exercise your faith that Jesus Christ has the power to heal, you can receive the same blessed relief. During your journey of recovery, accept His invitation to let Him share your burden until you have sufficient time and strength to be healed."

I am so grateful for this talk, and I am grateful for the Prophet and the Apostles who tell us exactly what we need to hear, when we need to hear it, who love us and who give us all the tools and knowledge we need to be happy in this life.
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