Agency vs. Compulsion

So I have been doing a lot of corrective work in my blog thus far, and that is actually not the way I usually speak about my faith. I usually talk about the things that make me happy, which is what I want to do today.

One of the reasons I became Mormon was because of the feelings I felt inside when I was being taught the doctrine. Faith and religion are not on a logical/scientific level much of the time, and so feelings constitute budding convictions, at least it did for me-- and still does.

I don't know how other people experience things, but there are times when I will hear something and it will just make sense to me. Simple as that. It's like it aligns with my innermost inclinations and desires, even those we may not be aware of. Perhaps you have heard song lyrics that feel like they were written for you because they capture a certain emotion or experience perfectly. Or perhaps there is a riff on the guitar that seems to strum your story, no words necessary. Perhaps you have a friend who you can go to, and no matter how fragmented your communication is, they will be able to nail exactly how you feel and bridge the gap of misunderstanding that no one else can.

That is kind of how it went for me and Mormonism. They taught me things that I had always believed, but was never able to form words about. I always wondered where I came from, who God was, and why we were here... and I had my own theories, my "Marina-ism philosophy".

The child in me believed that after we die we go to heaven, so my logic and intuition followed, causing me to believe that we came from heaven in the first place. This is not Christian doctrine, this is not a "normal" belief, I think... but it is for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. We believe in the premortal existence, where we all lived together as Spirit sisters and brothers with our Heavenly Father (God) before we came to earth. Furthermore, we believe that there was a war in Heaven. God wanted us to be perfect on earth, our mortal test, so that we could then return to Him. Lucifer (the devil) wanted to make us perfect to ensure that everyone came back to heaven. 2/3 of everyone chose God's plan, choosing agency over compulsion. That's us. Our belief is that anyone that has ever lived on earth chose agency over compulsion. :-)

Anyways, I think I went way too deep into doctrine. Suffice it to say, everything is a choice. We have the choice to be happy, to be sad, to be offended, to do good, to do bad. It's amazing! I love it! When I consider agency as a power, then i consider my choices so much more carefully. My perspective on agency has brought me so much joy because now I realize I have a choice in the way I feel! In the past, if someone hurt my feelings then I would blame it on them and feel miserable until their apology suited me. Now, I do not wait until the other person has a change of heart, I change mine. Instead of choosing to be offended or hurt, I try very hard to choose to forgive, let go, and not let anybody but myself ruin my own day. It's liberating!

You know how there are those wristbands that saw WWJD (What Would Jesus Do?). Well you can tell if someone's Mormon because they have a CTR ring. Choose The Right :-)